In 1997, my marriage was over. My husband did not love me anymore, at least that is what he said. The truth was, as with most marriages, is that it had become comfortable and we allowed satan to come in for the kill. I was devastated. I thought I was doing things correctly. I had recently become a Christian, and from the pulpit I was hearing “submit, submit, submit”. I was even given books on being a “submissive” wife.
But today’s blog is about the apology I owe my husband even years later. (If you want the whole story, it’s on our website www.lessonsfromanaffair.com)
This past Sunday in church we studied Matthew 18 on how to reconcile. The first verse of the lesson went like this:
If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. ~Matthew 18:15
In 1997, I was so deviststed that I was talking to people from church. The husbands of the wives decided that these verses were their context for taking matters into their own hands and comfronting him after work in the parking lot.
I noticed something Sunday….. Go to, point (talk), just between you and the offending party.
This parking lot mob was not Biblical, no matter how you sliced it. The issue was between my husband and me….period…but because I did not follow the first part of this verse it turned into a church discipline and asking us both not to return to the church.
What I learned this last weekend was, that we as humans don’t like conflict and we like to be right and we like to take scripture out of context to make our side more palatable; but in the process we hurt people and some get turned away from God and the church.
So to my husband of 30 years in May:
I love you and I am sorry…
And to the rest of you my question is:
Are you a change agent for God or a stumbling block in this world?
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